


Twelve Feet Deep

by ikuzonos



Series: The Friends We Used to Know [9]
Category: Dangan Ronpa, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Multi, NDRV3 Spoilers, another relationship if u squint, hurt little comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-02
Updated: 2017-03-02
Packaged: 2018-09-27 20:33:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10047755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ikuzonos/pseuds/ikuzonos
Summary: He wanders through the dark empty corridors, trying to sort out his thoughts. Everything feels too numb and too real at the same time, and Saihara hates it.Everything breaks.[Major Endgame NDRV3 Spoilers.]





	

**Author's Note:**

> i'm gonna warn in advance that this instalment is a major doozy and it may have some upsetting content, stay safe!

When Saihara was young child, he helped his uncle file paperwork. The older man was a hardened detective, exhausted and bitter after years on the force with no change in the corrupt system. Saihara spent many long evenings doing this, and while the task was easy, it was incredibly boring. In his entire life, Saihara had experienced the mind numbing sensation in two situations. The first was when he sat on the torn, stained carpet of his uncle’s office, sorting through file after file, as it grew darker and darker in the room.

The second is in the moment that Kaede explains to him that Amami has somehow escaped the studio compound.

Saihara moves his lips - or at the very least, tries to - but still no sound comes out. His brain feels warm, as if it’s going to melt and gush out through his ears. He stares at Kaede with wide eyes (he hopes) and she sighs quietly.

“Late last night, I heard sirens from my room,” Kaede whispers, her voice cracked and hoarse. Saihara wonders if she’s been crying, but refrains from speaking. Not like he could talk if he wanted to, anyways. She smells like fabric softener and integrity, but she looks like a wreck.

Saihara wishes that he could grab her hand.

Kaede continues, “I came downstairs, and I found everyone gathered in the cafeteria. Just after I arrived, several guards marched in and explained that Amami-kun had somehow managed to get past the gates.”

She's still shaking. Saihara twitches his hand to the best of his capability, but Kaede doesn't notice. If she does, she doesn't acknowledge it. 

“And you know who I saw,” Kaede whispers, tears running down her face, “standing in the middle of the room like nothing was wrong at all?”

An ugly and painful feeling surges inside of him, and Saihara feels like he would be sick if he could move. 

Kaede wipes her face, “Shirogane… Just watching the rest of us panic, as if all was right in the world. And… and she turned to me… and she  _ smiled  _ at me.”

Pure, untainted rage sprints through every vein in Saihara's body. He croaks out the first words since his assault, his voice dry and broken, “H…ow dare… she?”

Kaede cries harder, and grips his fingers so tightly he wonders if they’ll break.

-

His voice heals over the course of the day. It's still rough, but he can talk properly, even if it hurts a bit. He's working towards moving the rest of his body, but the doctors seem pleased with his progress. 

Part of Saihara wonders what would happen if he - or anyone else, really - were to die under their care. On one hand, they wouldn't have to pay out the long overdue prize money, but on the other, it would cause a huge scandal. The show was already practically cancelled for good, unless the studio could scrape together enough funds to bribe the people in their way. 

After weighing the options, Saihara considers ripping out the IV in his arm, but he still can't make his other arm move, so the entire idea amounts to nothing. 

Not like any idea that he's ever had has turned out well. He's just a boy who wished with all his heart to either get away with murder, or die on live TV, and he wasn't able to accomplish either of those. 

Some person he turned out to be. 

-

Late one night, Saihara's door opens. He's expecting a doctor, as it's half an hour after visiting hours have ended, but he's wrong, as always. 

Tenko Chabashira stands in his doorway, her face heavy and solemn. She stares at him uselessly for a minute or so, then takes a step inside and closes the door behind her. 

His fists are closed, and as much of his body as he can move has gone stiff with fear. He wonders how she managed to get in, then remembers his own escapade where he broke inside to visit Shirogane. 

His heart beats faster. 

Tenko approaches his bed, and then bows low, “Hello, Saihara-san. Tenko is sorry for hurting you.”

Saihara blinks a few times, and looks at her. She’s back to her polite yet cutesy way of speaking, and it unnerves him especially. 

“Tenko-san…” he croaks. He isn't sure where to go from there, because he's not about to tell her not to be sorry, because she should be. 

She flinches, catching him off guard, “You shouldn't. I, er, Tenko doesn't deserve that kindness.”

Saihara wheezes, “You’re still… my friend. I still care about y-you.” He isn’t entirely sure if he’s telling the truth or not. He still cares about Tenko’s well being, but he isn’t sure if they’re still friends. Part of him wants to rekindle their childhood friendship, but the part of him that still feels sore in every region of his neck wants her to leave.

Tenko quivers, clenching her fists tightly, “Tenko shouldn’t have hurt you. She was… scared, because Saihara-san reminded her of… of her father. It was irrational, and Tenko begs your forgiveness.” 

There’s so much hesitation and trepidation in her voice that Saihara doesn’t really know where to go from there. He’s never actually met Tenko’s father, only heard about him from Tenko herself, and her aunt. If he was acting like her father, then the entire situation suddenly makes sense.

Tenko sits down slowly on a tiny wooden stool, her face downcast. She whispers, “I shouldn’t…  _ Tenko _ shouldn’t be scared of him anymore. He’s long dead… Tenko killed him nearly six years ago now.”

It takes a moment for her words to register with him, “W-What? Tenko-san… your father-”

Tenko wrings her hands, “Did Tenko not tell you about that? She snapped one day, and strangled him with his own whipping belt! J-Just like how he killed Tenko’s mother.”

Saihara stares at her for a long second, then croaks, “Tenko-san… he and your mother died in a car crash. Y-You’ve told m...e this.”

Tenko shakes her head, and looks at him like he’s grown a second head, “No! W-Why would you say that?! Tenko did this… Tenko killed him with these two hands! He always thought that girls were weak, and he was  _ certain _ that his son was the one killing him, but little did he know, it was his daughter all along because girls can be  _ strong  _ and he was a drunken, delusional,  _ dipshit _ , and… and I…”

She breaks off, her breath ragged and tears flowing from her eyes.

Saihara whispers, “No… The Super High-School Level Aikido Master may have killed her own father… but you didn’t. Y-Your parents died in a car crash…”

Tenko’s lip trembles, then sobs uselessly. Saihara reaches shakily into his pocket, then passes her his lighter and an unopened packet of cigarettes. She holds them, her hands quivering, then lunges forwards and hugs him close.

There aren’t many people that Saihara hates more than Tsumugi Shirogane, but Tenko’s father is absolutely one of them.

-

Saihara is escorted out of the hospital the next morning. According to the orderly with him, the compound is on major lockdown, and nobody, not even the staff, can enter the courtyards. Many of the other corridors are now restricted. The orderly says that it’s to keep everyone contained until Amami can be located, but Saihara knows that it’s because the executives fear that the felt of them will follow suit.

He won’t try, though. He escaped once, just after waking from the simulation, and he, Maki, and Himiko were found within five days. He’s not in the mood for running again, because Team  _ Dangan Ronpa _ will always find him.

The cafeteria is luckily still open to him, and it appears that everyone else has chosen to gather there. There’s no board games going on, just strained silence. Saihara takes a step towards the table that Kaede, Hoshi, and Kirumi are sitting at, then freezes.

Tenko is all on her own at the back of the room.

He sits down across from the black haired girl, and smiles gently, “M-Morning, Tenko-san.”

She lowers her head, “You don’t have to do that. Address Tenko so familiarly, I mean. She’s not good enough for that.”

“Yes you are,” Saihara responds. That’s the end of the discussion. Neither of them say a word, or even move, for the next several hours.

When it eventually begins to grow late, Saihara rises from the table. Before he can get two steps away, Tenko says, “A-Ah, Saihara-san. Thank you for the… you know.”

He can see an unlit cigarette hanging out of her pocket.

He nods quietly, and says, “Use them wisely.” Then, he leaves, and doesn’t look at anyone on the way out.

-

Five minutes past the stroke of eleven at night, the compound is informed that Amami has been located by one of the search squads. According to the squad, he was found nearly eighty miles from the studio, unconscious, dehydrated, and starving.

Saihara and Kirumi hover outside his hospital room, asking any doctor that passes by if they’ll be able to speak with him soon. They are denied every time. Saihara isn’t sure why he’s so desperate to talk to Amami - considering that the green haired boy lashed out at him the last time they met - but he believes it must have something to do with how worried Kirumi is about him.

It’s a bit peculiar in his opinion. Amami and Kirumi weren’t particularly close in the simulation, so her emotions towards him seem to have sprung out of nowhere.

Or maybe they knew each other before. Now that Saihara thinks about it, it would make her concern and dedication make perfectly sense. As Kirumi looks through the one way glass into Amami’s room, watching him toss and turn on his bed, her gloved hand presses tightly against the glass.

Saihara wishes that he could break it for her.

Eventually, one of the nurses exits the room, and says that one of them can enter, but only one. Kirumi looks at Saihara, a look in her eyes that he couldn’t describe with words. 

“You go, Toujou-san,” he says, “I’ll visit him tomorrow.”

Kirumi smiles warmly at him, dips her head at the nurse, then heads into Amami’s room. Before the nurse closes the door, Saihara hears her greet him, and watches as Amami sits up, a relieved look on his face.

Saihara leaves with a bitter taste in his mouth.

He wanders through the dark empty corridors, trying to sort out his thoughts. Everything feels too numb and too real at the same time, and Saihara hates it. 

He tries something that the psychologist mentioned at the last therapy session, making a mental list of everything that makes him happy. 

It is a very short list. 

His uncle. Kaede. Tenko. Detective novels. Kaito. Fried dough balls. 

…Maybe some of the others, if he stretched it. Saihara hasn't felt true bliss in a very long time. 

As it nears a quarter to two in the morning, Saihara enters the hallway where his room is. But instead of trudging to the end of the hall, he stops outside of her room, and stares at the dust on the door handle. 

He doesn't know why he's standing here. What he does know, however, is that he's prone to making impulsive, regrettable decisions. 

Saihara turns the door handle. 

The door opens. 

She's sitting on a low futon bed, draped in blankets and surrounded by pillows. Saihara curls her lip at the sight - she's cozy, and he can't even get a quilt that isn't ripped? - but stops himself from speaking. 

He takes a glance at her window out of the corner of his eyes, and a wave of apprehension settles over him. Her window, like Hoshi’s and his own, is barred. 

“Hi, Saihara-kun,” Shirogane says drowsily, “Do you want something?”

Saihara closes the door, shakes his head, and slumps on the cold, hard floor. Shirogane stares at him with inquisitive, unsettling eyes, and he responds, “I just need to be around someone more fucked up than I am.”

Shirogane huffs, “That's not very nice. Here I thought someone finally cared enough to see me, and instead, my hopes and dreams were destroyed. Whoosh… just like that."

Saihara scowls at her, “Why would any of us  _ care _ about you? After what you did to us? Not likely.”

Shirogane absently twirls a lock of her hair, “You were my first visitor in the hospital, you know. Also my last. I haven't spoken to anyone besides my doctor since.”

“Well, I can't really blame everyone for hating you,” Saihara spits. 

She tuts, “You're not very nice, are you? I can't tell what Akamatsu-san possibly sees in you.”

“Don't you  _ dare _ say her name.”

Shirogane smirks, “Why not? I saw her a few nights ago. It was the first time I've seen anyone besides you. Not that you were there. She looked so frightened when she saw me… I even smiled to be polite!”

Saihara scowls, “You framed and executed her for a murder that you committed. I’d be amazed if she  _ wasn't  _ scared of you.”

Shirogane looks at him dryly, “Well, that was my plan. But my plan was for all of you, sans myself and Kiibo-kun, to die. It would be incredibly entertaining for the audience, don’t you think?”

“I think that you’re sick,” Saihara replies coldly.

Surprisingly, Shirogane smiles, “You’re cute. You cling to the person you were in the simulation like you are him, but you’re really not. Do you honestly believe that you’re a good person? You signed up for the show for a reason. ...You remind me of myself, sometimes.”

Saihara’s chest heaves, and he hisses, “Get out.”

“You seem to forget that  _ you _ were the one to barge into  _ my _ room,” Shirogane replies cooly.

He gets to his feet, and growls at her, “I hate you. I hate you so much.”

“I… I know,” Shirogane says, her gaze suddenly distant, “I’d hate me too.”

Saihara doesn’t know what to say to that, so he leaves her behind.

-

There’s a knock on Saihara’s door at three-fifteen. Still not tired - and in fact, shaken - Saihara opens it to reveal Kaede, who looks ill.

“A-Are you busy?” she asks, gripping the hem of her shirt tightly.

Saihara shakes his head, “Not at all. What do you need?”

Kaede looks at him blankly, then leaps forwards and hugs him. She begins crying just after, and Saihara awkwardly rubs her back.

“I was hoping,” she murmurs between sobs, “that they’d never find Amami-kun. And I  _ hate _ myself for that, but every single time I hear his name, I think about how I killed him, even though he doesn’t remember.”

“You didn’t kill him,” Saihara replies gently, “I-”

Kaede pulls away, and looks him right in the eyes, “No, I did! I killed him when I set up that trap, just like how I killed  _ everyone else!” _

Saihara says, “Akamatsu-san, listen to me. You’re not at-”

“No, you listen to me,” Kaede responds, “I don’t care what brush you paint me with. I’m still a bad person, and nothing can change that, not even you.”

“Akama-”

“No!” she yells, “You wanna know something, Saihara-kun? If Amami-kun hadn’t died,  _ nobody _ would have. The motive was that everyone who was ‘forced’ into the killing game would die.”

Saihara murmurs, “And we all signed up willingly… No, but we didn’t know that! None of us had any way of knowing what was going on!”

Kaede whispers, “I was not magnificent, Saihara-kun. Stop trying to convince me, it’s not worth it. No matter what you say, I’ll always feel at fault for Amami-kun’s death, even if I didn’t really kill him.”

Saihara hugs her again, out of words to say. She sways in his arms, silent. Then without warning, she begins to cry again.

-

Saihara awakens to sunlight, and several sharp knocks on his door. He shifts carefully, and yawns a few times. His bed is small as it is, but it’s even smaller as he’s currently sharing it with Kaede.

She fell asleep first during the early hours, and Saihara - who was averse to the dirty floor - crawled into his bed after her. 

Kaede snores ever so slightly now, still fast asleep.

There’s another series of knocks, and Saihara crawls over Kaede and up to the door. Maki stands on the other side, looking both annoyed and concerned.

“Saihara,” she says sharply, “I need to talk to you about something.”

From behind him, Kaede yawns and shuffles, “Saihara-kun? Who’s there?”

Maki blanches, “Is that Akamatsu? Saihara, I-”

“It’s not what you think,” Saihara says quickly, “She just-”

Maki scowls, “Bad taste.”

Saihara narrows his eyes, “You two are friends! I’ve seen the two of you talking and enjoying yourselves before!”

Maki huffs, “She approached me and insisted we be ‘friends.’ I don’t actually like her.”

“Bad taste,” Saihara replies. Maki glowers at him.

“Akamatsu!” Maki yells into the room, “Get over here, this is very important.”

Kaede groans, but drags herself over to the doorway, “Mmm? Harukawa-san?”

Maki takes a deep breath, “It’s about Chabashira. She’s back in the hospital.”

Saihara freezes, “W-What?! Is she okay?! I thought she was-”

Maki holds up her hand, “From what I heard, she tried speaking to Yonaga and Yumeno, but things… went south. The… the security team found her suspended from her window… with her belt tied around her neck.”

Saihara looks at Maki for a long moment, then collapses on the floor in a heap.


End file.
